My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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