ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
