Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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