My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
