and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
