Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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