i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
