roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
