Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
