do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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