You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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