I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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