I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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