i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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