proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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