Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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