Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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