sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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