Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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