FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
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I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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