Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
