So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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