what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i now understand why vodka
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
