Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
