I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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