apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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