I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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