I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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