if you like me you must not know who I am
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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