dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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