I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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