He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
