she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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