My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
