My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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