i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
