I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
