please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
nutella sex= disaster
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ok first of all what the fuck
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
