did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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