I want to have your abortion
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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