bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
