I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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