if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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