I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tonight lets celebrate not being married
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
