shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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