Your dad touched me again.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
