I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
