you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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