i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
