I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea