Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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