I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my poor anus
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
