oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
