airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
