you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
