the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
