Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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