Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize