So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
