Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize